On failing like a Gilmore Girl

21:21 Sophie Flynn 1 Comments

Whenever I re-watch Gilmore Girls[1] (which I have many times) I feel the same impassioned rage at Rory when she goes into total life meltdown over Mitchum Huntzberger telling her ‘she hasn’t got it’ as a journalist. By this point, we’ve spent years watching Rory grow up and be told she’s pretty much America’s greatest kid, destined for success of untold proportions and yet this one, single comment is enough to derail her whole life. She quickly drops out of Yale, steals a yacht, moves in with her grandparents and gives over to the spoilt life of drinking and socialising with her trust-fund boyfriend.

I have watched this series of events play out on my screen through many different periods in my life; as a teenager, a first year university student, a jobless graduate and most recently as a full-time working adult (supposedly) and part-time mature student. Each time my reaction has been the same: FOR GOD SAKE RORY GET A GRIP AND PROVE HIM WRONG.

And yet, my most reactions to failure[2] have been similar to Rory’s. On receiving my first grade in my MA last week (a rather disappointing 58, pass) I was not filled with the hardy determination that I have always demanded from Rory, I could not convince myself that I was better, could be better but instead decided (almost instantly) that I did not ‘have it’ as a writer, I would never be a writer, and I should give up.

The very fact the first comparison I make to my failure is that of a fictional character forces me to realise why I can't give up. Rory is not real, Stars Hollow does not exist and yet I am drawn to her fictional life for comparisons of my own hope and disappointment more so than any real person. That’s the power of stories. That’s why I want to write, that’s why I will not steal a yacht and go to my wealthy grandparents (who do not exist) and my trust fund boyfriend (who is actually an impoverished teacher) to bankroll me into a downward spiral that involves quitting my job, leaving university and giving up. I will instead try and be the Rory Gilmore that I have willed for so many times whilst lazily watching from my sofa and GET A GRIP AND PROVE THEM WRONG.

So here we go, here’s to next term, here’s to not being Rory Gilmore and wallowing in self-pity, here’s to proving them wrong.

[1] If you have not watched Gilmore Girls (firstly, do) you may wish to google it for this blog post is based entirely on the much loved show, but DO NOT take into account the most recent series on Netflix as I, like many others, would like to pretend the depressing events of 2016 did not take place in Stars Hollow
[2] My reference of failure is not failing exactly but pompously not doing as spectacularly well as I wish I could (gross I know)

1 comment :

  1. Draw on the experience and......write about it! I remember an essay I wrote at school based on the relief a wife felt at her husband coming home from the war. My experience that drew on was the relief I felt going to the loo after holding it for the previous lesson. It's the little things lol